Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
