I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
