Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
