there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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