That's intense
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
