I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
