When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
