I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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