She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
