You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
