when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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