Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
