how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
