So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
