Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
