3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
