dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
