hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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