two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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