If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
