It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
