Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
