They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
