let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
