You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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