Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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