I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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