Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
