It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
