Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
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We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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