My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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