Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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