I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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