you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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