I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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