do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
