I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
