how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
