Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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