She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize