dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Come on in and take your pants off
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