please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
