i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
