i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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