so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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