weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
