i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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