If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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