i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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