ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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