4 words: hood of his car
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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