Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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