so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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