have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
