Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
