so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
