Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
