his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
