jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?