Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
