@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
