We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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